To the Mom who feels like a failure


Most days, as a parent are (if your world is anything like mine) 90% hard parenting, and 10% fun, let your hair down tickles and giggles moments.

Sweet baby girl in my armsWhen the days run into each other, you really begin to feel like all you are is a police sergeant. You miss those days early on when 90% of your day was snuggles and cuddles and 10% diaper changes…

If you’re anything like me – you feel the weight of being the “MEAN MOMMY” as my 5-year old called me the other day, and guilt sets in.

Am I doing this whole parenting thing right? Am I all talk? Do I really think I’ll survive if they ever say those dreaded words, “I Hate you?”

Here’s what happened the other day – afterwards, even re-reading this post entry I felt like crying. Being the Mean Mommy is the most difficult part of parenting – and may also be one of the most important.
My two-year-old is being mean to her older brother – again. She’s just finished jumping on him, kicking him and now has her hands wrapped around his neck and is pull
ing his head back despite his repeated attempts to gently disengage and ask her to cease and desist.

MEAN MOMMY enters scene

Emma Lodge that is enough!

Get off your brother this instant.

Naturally, sweet, obedient Emma instantly acquiesces. …. OR she sits back and begins to screech at the top of her lungs as though someone were LITERALLY killing her.

Pick choice #2 – trust me.

For the umpteenth time today, Emma, upon being asked politely, repeatedly to stop doing what she is doing, has chosen to retaliate with screams of pure rage.

Enough is enough. Patient Mommy is long gone, Mean Mommy is now here and she is fed up. I reach over and take her chubby, adorable, kissable hand and ‘rap, rap’ two solid taps on her hand. Her screams end abruptly and she turns huge, pain stricken eyes upon me. A huge tear descends down her chubby cheek. A quick hiccup and her rage melts into quiet sobs of sorrow.

I gather her in my arms and she nestles close. Once she calms I say to her, “Now you need to apologize to your brother”.

At first she pulls away, but I persist. “Emma, you hurt your brother and you didn’t respect his words. Now you will either apologize or you will go to your room”.

She sighs deeply and turns back to Jude.

Sorry Juders.

I forgive you Emma.

Mean Mommy wins again.

How I wish that Patient Mommy could win so Mean Mommy didn’t have to enter the scene ever. I despise seeing those eyes turn on me with that look of “how could you Mommy?” it shatters my heart everytime…

Bottom line: Being a Mean Mommy is effective and totally sucks.

NOT the 1st nor the LAST

As much as it pains me deeply each and every time Mean Mommy strikes. I know, with sound assurance, that as this evening was not the first time she appeared – it will also not be the last.

I will, for Jude anotyourfriendnd Emma, be the Mean Mommy many many more times while they grow up.

I will be a Mean Mommy:

  • Every time they refuse to eat their supper
  • when they refuse to do their chores
  • When they fight me on doing homework
  • When they want to choose their friends over family
  • When they want to start dating
  • When they want to leave the house dressed immodestly
  • When they want to break curfew

and the list goes on really.

I will wholeheartedly be a Mean Mommy. Even when the huge tear drops that break my heart change to indignant rage and teenager bursts of, “I hate you”. I will be a Mean Siblings LoveMommy even when it means I will be summarily dismissed and ignored.

I will be a Mean Mommy for one reason and one reason alone.

My heart is deeply and truly in love with two amazing kids.

The Mean Mommy is born of a heart that beats with love.  I will be mean. Until they don’t need me to be anymore.


Your turn! Please share your own stories/words of wisdom :)