Tis the season – Christmas has arrived and along with the joy, music, lights and songs comes the mad rush to amass a wealth of things.
Black Friday brought amazing sales for people trying to complete their christmas lists early at a great price. It also brought death. For those unfortunate people who dared to come between someone and their prized items.
Can you even fathom choosing to hurt another person simply for a good deal?
The overwhelming want – need – desire for, for, for… more, more, more…. its consuming.
Tis the season….
There are other all-consuming desires that take over though. It isn’t all the evil materialistic items that consume people.
- A spouse.
- A baby.
Just to name a few.
Tis the season….
What is Christmas even about? It is my most favourite time of the year. I love every aspect of it. I even love going to the mall – sitting having a smoothie and watching people shop, eat, laugh and talk with friends and family. I love the busyness. I love the get togethers. I love it all.
Tis the season and it brings to mind another time in my life when I too was all consumed. Driven and being driven by a desire. A desire for a baby.
Here’s my story:
Wade and I had been married for 4 years and we decided we were ready to have a baby. So
we got pregnant – almost immediately. And joyfully told the world. 3 months passed and we were well into our pregnancy and plans, hopes and dreams. And then the unimaginable occurred. We lost our precious baby. What followed was months of pain, more loss and more pain. And then barrenness for over a year. I cried, I prayed, I poured out my heart to God. And no baby came. I cajoled, begged, pleaded. And no baby came. I grew angry, bitter, and resentful towards others for whom this joy seemed to come so easily.
Materialistic items I did not pursue, but for a baby …. oh how my heart longed for a baby. To the point where I may have hurt someone in order to get a baby.
I was consumed.
It was just before Christmas 4 years ago. God got a hold of my heart. I remember distinctly the moment, where I sat in my home. It was early morning. Wade was still asleep and I sat in my living room staring at the Christmas tree crying and begging God for a child. He whispered in my heart words that I will never forget.
“Am I enough? If I never give you a child. Will I still be enough for you?”
I was shattered, broken. Clarity finally broke through and I realized one thing.
If I have nothing. If I am alone. If my health fails, my bank account dries up. If my husband dies, if I bear no child. Is Jesus alone enough for me?
The answer is yes.
Its funny really. We celebrate Christmas because Christ came to earth – the greatest gift we could ever receive. He is the first and the last. The beginning and the end. In HIM we are whole, we are complete.
Its Christmas and we find ourselves searching for things, people, parties, or food to fill this aching void in our hearts. When all we need is to look to the CREATOR of Christmas.
I wept broken and told God that yes HE IS ENOUGH. I told him that should He choose to never fill my arms with a baby that I will STILL serve Him and that HE alone is enough.
I will never forget that moment. In one instant I felt everything change. A heaviness I had not even recognized lifted. A sorrow that was so deep it was all-consuming, lifted. I raised my head to the heavens and worshipped God in a way that I had not in many many months. And I felt my spirit renewed.
God granted me my deepest desires after I found true contentment in His arms.
This Christmas – as we shop, as we seek to find the perfect everything. Seek FIRST His kingdom and then all these things shall be added to you.
Jesus IS enough. In Him alone are we complete – in His presence and abundant love will we find the contentment that we all so earnestly seek.
Tis the season to be whole, to finally be content.